


We Owe Him That Much

by MtnDew2000



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Don't Worry I Only Do Happy Endings, Eventual Romance, Romance, Severus Snape Lives, Time Travel, Time Turner (Harry Potter), Young Severus Snape, one shot turned story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:28:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24601603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MtnDew2000/pseuds/MtnDew2000
Summary: Almost a month after the war, Hermione Granger takes it upon herself to go back in time 15 years to save Severus Snape's life. Unable to return to 1998, she is stuck in the past and must live her life there. The problem being, will time allow her to stay?------A SS/HG time travel story by a new writer. I admit, it starts off a little bit rough, but I think I finally find my groove by chapter 5. Please stick with it until then, at least!
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 31
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

“Hermione, you can’t do this!” Harry shouts, as he stands in the doorway of my bedroom at Grimmauld Place. I sigh in frustration as I continue to pack my beaded bag full of supplies that I’ll need on my journey. “I can, and I will Harry. I’ve already made up my mind and there’s nothing you can say or do that will change it,” I give a huff as I turn around to look at him. His eyes are glassy, his hair is sticking out in all sorts of odd angles, and his face shows just how tired he truly is. The war took its toll on him, on all of us. He looks just as much of a mess as I feel. 

“Hermione,” his voice breaks, “Please, I need you. I-I don’t know what I’ll do without you. Please, stay.” His voice desperate, but my resolve strong. I walk up to him, “Harry, I won’t be gone forever. In fact, I’ll probably be back before you can even miss me,” I smile at him reassuringly. “But why—” he starts, “You know why,” I interrupt. “He needs someone Harry, and no one else is going to do it.” He grabs a hold of me tightly, and I wrap my arms around him in a loving embrace. 

“We owe him that much Harry,” I whisper into his ear from where my head is laying in the crook of his neck. I pull away to look him in the eyes, “I’ve found a way to go back to him. To save him. Now that I know there is a way, I’d be his murderer if I just stayed here and did nothing. His death would be on my hands. _My hands,_ Harry,” I cried.

He heaves a big sigh as he brushes his hair away from his face. I turn around and walk back over to my bed to finish packing. “I-I just wish there were another way. Why do you have to go back so far? Why not right before he goes into the Shrieking Shack?”

“Because I don’t have any antivenom Harry, there was none left from when Mr. Weasley was attacked, and I don’t know how long it will take to get it. For all we know it could have taken Professor Snape years to make.”

I pause in my packing to sit on my bed, he walks over to join me. “And to top it off, it’s a one-way trip. Even if I wanted to, I can’t come back.” He shakes his head at me, “How are you so calm right now, Hermione?”

“I’m not Harry, I’m _scared,_ ” I admit. No matter how much I feel in my heart that this is the right thing to do, it doesn’t hurt any less. To know that I’ll live through years of my life without my best friends by my side pains me in more ways than I could ever imagine. He wraps his arm around me as I lean my head on his shoulder.

“What are you going to do when you get there?” he asks. I twirl a strand of hair in thought, “Well, I need him to trust me. That will probably be the hardest thing I have to do, and then after that… well. Find a way to make the antivenom, I guess.” 

“How will you do that if he’s at Hogwarts?” he ponders, and I shoot him a sly grin. Lifting my chin high, I say in the snootiest voice possible, channeling my inner Malfoy as I do so, “I’m going to be a Professor,” he looks at me in shock as I continue to explain, “I’ve already looked through the archives to find a time when Hogwarts was hiring. I’m going to apply for the job.”

He continues to stare at me as if I’ve grown two heads, then promptly bursts out laughing. As we sit and giggle, I realize just how much I’ll miss Harry. He never fails to make me laugh, or to remind me that sometimes acting a little childish is OK. In fact, we’ve earned it. The clock dings, reminding me of my newfound mission.

“It’s time,” I say and slowly stand, grabbing my trusty beaded bag as I go. “I’ll be alright, Harry,” I reassure, as I pull him into a final hug. I take in the feel of him, the peace and comfort that surrounds me whenever I’m in his presence. I’ve never had siblings; I was the only child growing up. But I know that he is the closest thing I have to a brother.

I release him, upset at the thought of having no more time. I wipe the tears from my eyes and make my way to the door. Glancing back at him one more time, I send him the biggest smile I can muster. “Goodbye Harry, I’ll see you soon. I promise.” Not leaving enough time for any more words, only knowing that it will make my leave harder, I spin the time turner backwards. _15 years._ With a final flash of bright light, I was gone.

I land with a thud. _Ow._

Struggling to gain composure, I swallow back the bile threatening to make its way up my throat and fail to notice the sound of footsteps coming my way. As the nausea finally leaves, I look up for the first time to take in my surroundings and see a dark figure standing a few feet away.

“State your business,” the velvety voice growls. “I’m here to see Professor Dumbledore,” I reply. He hums to himself in thought, “Very well, follow me.” I stand up, making sure to grab my bag, and I rush to catch up to him.

“I’m Hermione,” I smile at him. “I’m here for the Arithmancy position. Are you a Professor here…?” I trail off waiting expectantly for him to fill in his name. He glances at me from the side as we walk, and just when I think he’s not going to answer he surprises me. “Severus.”

Already excited at the prospect of getting to know him from that of an equal, not a student, and eager to start building trust, I make sure to look him in the eye as I give him an honest smile, “Pleased to meet you Severus.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, chapter 2 is up! After many requests both on this site and Fanfiction.net, I decided to continue this story. I'm afraid that updates won't be as quick as I want them to be, seeing as how I never intended to write more than a one shot, and so now I'm a little lost on the story line. I'm not quite sure how I want to proceed, nor how quickly I want the story to progress. However, I thought that I could at least get this starter chapter out today, and work on a longer more polished 3rd chapter this week. I am currently in nursing school, taking summer classes, so I unfortunately don't have a large amount of writing time on my hands, but I will do my best! Let me know what you think of this chapter :) And if you want to drop some suggestions for story line, I'm all ears! Much love, Hollie.

I of course knew exactly who he was as soon as I saw him, not even his youth could prevent me from seeing the striking similarities to that of his older self. Dark hair lying limply around his face, intelligent eyes that seem to pierce your soul, and the same exact black robes that induced fear into many of my fellow students in the future. He cannot know who I am, where I’m from, or what I’m here for, at least not now. Maybe in the future I can tell him, that is if a situation deems it necessary. Dumbledore, on the other hand, will need to know as I will be required to be forthcoming with him if I want my plan to work. I need to have at least one alibi in this timeline, so should I fail… Harry and Ron will at least know what happened to me.

As Professor Snape, or well… _Severus,_ leads me to Dumbledore’s office, I consider the best way to approach the subject.

“Ah, Severus, what can I help you with?” Dumbledore asks as we walk into the office. “I found her outside the castle, she said that she wishes to see you Sir,” he replies. I step forward, giving him a large smile as I do so, yet slightly startled to see him once again alive and breathing, “Hello Sir, my name is Hermione. I was wondering if I could speak with you about the Arithmancy position?” He returns the smile, “Of course,” he looks toward the other person in the room, “Severus, if you would give us a moment?” The dark young man nods his head, giving me one last glance of suspicion before he leaves the office, closing the door with a loud thud.

“Please, sit,” he gestures to the chair in front of his desk. “Thank you,” I say as I look around his office. _Everything looks just like it did before his death. Blimey, even_ he _looks the same._ Comforted by the thought, I look back up to find his mouth in a frown and a serious look on his face. “ _Now,_ what is it that you are truly here for?” My eyes widen before I can school my features, and I clear my throat before speaking, “Well Sir, it’s quite complicated really. But,” I reach inside the collar of my shirt to pull out the time turner, its hourglass void of any sand seeing as how I used it all in my journey here, “I’m from… the future. The year 1998 to be exact.” He leans back into his chair, placing his elbows on the armrests, and clasping his hands underneath his chin, “Ah. I see.” I gulp at the intense look, “I figured as much.” Confusion becomes evident on my face as I try to figure out how, _I don’t understand, how could he know?_ I open my mouth to ask when he beats me to it, “Your magic has a different air to it, and your clothing is unlike anything I’ve ever seen women wear these days.”

A blush makes its way up my neck as I nod my head in acknowledgement, “Oh. I, uh, guess that makes sense.” I shift slightly in the uncomfortable silence, “Who sent you?” he asks. “Well Sir, I guess you could say the Order.” He raises his eyebrow, “You guess?” he questions.

_Well nothing slips past him,_ I sigh internally. I open my mouth and launch into an edited version of my life and of the importance of my mission to save Professor Snape, of course leaving out any details that could alter the future.

Finally, after what seems like ages of talking, I finish the account of my life and look to him for his reaction. “Hmm. Interesting.” He goes to stand, “Well, we need to make you a new identity, and seeing as how Severus already knows your first name, we will have to stick with it I’m afraid. Any preferences?” I shook my head, “I’m afraid not, Sir. I haven’t the faintest idea.”

“Hmm. Does Vector sound amendable? Professor Hermione Vector?” he asks, failing to see my shocked face as he walks to the back of the room. “Ve-Vector?” my face pales at the thought. _Am I Professor Vector? What was her first name anyway? Ugh, I can’t remember. But it wasn’t me, surely not! I would have known if I was looking at my older self, unless…_ I gasped, standing up as quickly as my legs would let me, “A glamour!”

“What’s that _Miss Vector?_ ” he grins as he turns to face me. “I-I had a Professor growing up Sir, her name was Professor Vector and she taught Arithmancy. That’s me isn’t it?” barely able to keep my excitement at bay, I start pacing as I mutter to myself about the implications of this information.

“I believe you are correct in your assumption, Miss Vector. Seeing as how I suggested the name, having never met someone with it before, it leads me to believe that this Professor was indeed you.”

I finally make my way back to the chair to sit down, “But Sir? What about Professor Snape, he’s already seen me? If I use a glamour now, he’ll question me as to why.” I blow a piece of hair out of my eyes that had come loose during my pacing.

“Yes, indeed. Just tell him that the person he saw before, _was_ a glamour. You can come up with whatever reason you deem appropriate. I trust your judgment.” Shocked at that statement I ask, “You do?”

“Yes. You have shown me how courageous and selfless you are, and because you seem to know me quite well. If my older self trusted you, then I can to.” He claps his hands together, “Now, how about I call Severus and have him show you to your new rooms. In the meantime, you can work on that glamour,” he says as he sends a message to Severus, leaving me to question myself for the first time. _What did I get myself into?_


	3. Chapter 3

The walk to my new rooms were met in an uncomfortable silence. Upon Professor Snape entering into Dumbledore’s office and seeing my new look, I was faced with the challenge of how best to earn his trust. Nothing but the truth could earn that, and he can’t know the truth. Instead, a _half-truth_ will have to suffice. 

As Professor Snape leads the way through the castle to Professor Vector’s, or rather, _my rooms,_ I can feel his questioning eyes on me the whole way. Finally deciding how best to broach the subject I clear my throat, “Prof—Severus, I would like to be honest with you,” I pause to see him raise an eyebrow, “I’m not really who I say I am.” He stops to turn towards me, “Yes,” he hisses, “I can _see_ that.” 

I sigh at the bitterness that could be heard in his voice; I know now just how awful his childhood was thanks to the memories he left Harry. It is sad how little trust he has because of it. “I was using a glamour upon arrival at Hogwarts. You see, I’ve been on the run. And before you ask, no, I can’t tell you why. My name _is_ Hermione, that much is true. Dumbledore is an old friend of mine and has offered me protection behind these walls,” we keep walking, “I hope to start a new life here Severus, without the burdens of my past preventing me from doing so. I do hope that during my time here we can become friends, Severus.” I smile at his shocked look, “I’ve just met you, but I can tell that you are a very intelligent wizard.”

We reach the door to my rooms and he turns towards me, towering over me at his large height. “Yes, well,” he pushes a lock of dark hair back away from his face, “Don’t say things that you don’t understand Hermione, soon you’ll wish to recant that statement. Good day,” and with a swish of his robes he stalked down the hallway and was soon out of sight.

I roll my eyes as I say the default password given to me, _he always was so dramatic._ I close the door behind me as I gasp in delight. The room was much larger than my room at Grimmauld Place, homier too. With large castle windows that let in lots of natural light, a small sitting area with comfy looking furniture, and the most important thing that caught my eye, a small library. With shelves housing books about Arithmancy and other topics needed by a Professor at Hogwarts. There was also a small kitchen, and two closed doors. I opened one to find a nice bathroom, and the other which led to a beautiful room with a large canopy bed in the center.

Realizing I have nothing to do until dinner, I grab a random book off the shelf and sit down to read, losing myself in the words.

A knock startles me out of my thoughts and I place the book down on the small table as I stand up. It appears that I’ve lost track of time, and it must be nearing dinner if my calculations are correct. I walk over to the door and pull it open, “Severus?” I ask, confused by his appearance at my door. “Dumbledore has requested that I escort you to the Great Hall for dinner, seeing as how you would surely get lost by yourself,” he drawled. I huff, “Actually, I am perfectly capable of finding it myself. You can tell Dumbledore that his request was unwarranted,” I cross my arms over my chest. His eyes track my movement before he catches himself and they snap back up to my face. Glaring at my blatant defiance he says, “Well if you want to be a little know-it-all then by all means, get lost. It won’t be my fault when you show up late for dinner.”

My eyes widen at his choice of wording. ‘Know-it-all’ being something his older self called me many times in the future, and this forces me to refocus my priorities back on the mission. I’m not here to argue with him, that will do me no good. I struggle to push down my pride and correct things before I ruin my chance before I’ve even truly started, “You’re right Severus, I’m sorry. I should not have let my pride get in the way of your generosity. I would love it if you would escort me to the Great Hall,” I reach for his arm as I shut the door behind me, “Thank you,” I say. As my hand wraps around his arm I notice him flinch at my touch, but soon that is but an afterthought as we begin our walk to the Great Hall.

 _This feels odd,_ I think to myself. _He seems so different yet so similar to the person I knew growing up._ He always was rude, snarky, and often times just downright cruel, but I still held respect for him. For his position as my Professor, but also for his skill in potions. He could brew unlike anyone that I have every witnessed, and his old textbook that Harry found, _which I’m still irritated at him for using by the way,_ just proves his brilliancy in the subject. 

Curious at how he learned to brew so well I ask, “How long have you been a Potions Master, Severus?” He waits a moment before answering, “Two years. I started at 21, and I am the youngest Professor to have ever been hired at Hogwarts.” I giggle, “Actually, you’re the second youngest Professor at Hogwarts,” he starts to open his mouth when I answer, “I’m 18.” He grunts in irritation, but I ignore it. “Do you have any words of wisdom?” I ask. “Leave while you still can, they’re all dunderheads.”

I laugh loudly, almost to the point of wheezing, _he hasn’t changed one bit, or well he won’t change…or whatever, you know what I mean._ He glares sharply at me, attempting to pull his arm away, _oh, he thinks I’m laughing at him._ I hold fast to his arm, not letting him pull away, “I’m not laughing at you Severus, it’s just my old Professor used to say the same thing. It was very,” I pause to smile at him, “refreshing to hear again.”

As we reach the teachers’ side entrance to the Great Hall, he drops his arm from my grasp, and this time I allow him to do so. Dumbledore had informed me that a few teachers still stayed at the castle over summer holiday since they had nowhere else to go, but others either went home or went traveling. As he opens the door, I spot Professor McGonagall, Hagrid, and Professor Dumbledore all sitting at the high table.

“Ah, there you two are, I was beginning to think you both got lost,” Dumbledore’s eyes twinkle in amusement. _The old goat knew exactly how to rile me up then. Things certainly haven’t changed one bit._ I plaster a smile on my face as we walk up to the table. “Everyone, this is our new Arithmancy Professor, Hermione Vector,” he introduced. Everyone said their welcome and introduced themselves as we sat down. McGonagall next to Dumbledore on one side and Hagrid on the other, Severus next to McGonagall and then me next to Severus.

As we eat, I reminisce about my time here as a student in the future, _I wonder what Harry and Ron are doing now? Do they miss me? Don’t be ridiculous Hermione, you aren’t even four years old yet in this timeline._ I sigh to myself as I continue eating my food, food that became a comfort to me over the years that I was at Hogwarts.

I choke back the emotions, not wanting to make a scene my first day, _I miss home._ But this is my new home now. I have to protect him, save him. I can’t go back, not now. I owe him that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is up! Thank you to everyone who has viewed, liked, followed, or commented on my stories! I appreciate it so much, and it is truly what keeps me inspired to write. Not sure when chapter 4 will be up, but once I find my groove, updates will be more regular. Much love, Hollie.


	4. Chapter 4

_Two days._ In just two days’ time the students will be arriving at the castle for the start of term on September 1st. I am both nervous and excited about the prospect of being a Professor. Over the years at Hogwarts, before the war that is, I had many dreams about where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be. Teaching was one of the many things that I had considered. It only made sense in the grand scheme of things, especially with how much I helped students with their homework over the years.

As of now, I have been living in my new timeline for almost three months, having arrived here at the end of May. I have grown quite close with my fellow colleagues, and they have been very welcoming to me… well except for Severus. Let’s just say he’s a hard nut to crack.

He hardly comes to any of the meals, and when he does, he ignores me every time I try to talk to him, and he seems to spend much of his time in his rooms. I’ve even tried to catch him after the weekly staff meetings, but much to my annoyance, he is always the first one to leave and by the time I make it out the door, he’s nowhere to be seen.

I sigh to myself, my head leaning heavily on my hand as I poke at the eggs on my half-eaten plate. “Something the matter, dear?” Minerva asks as she sits down in her seat at the high table. “No. I’m afraid I’m just a little nervous about the start of term.” I hear her scoff, “Oh lass, don’t be daft. You will do fine. We’ve worked on your teaching plans all summer, I’d say you’re more prepared than any of us,” she smiles.

I drop my fork to look up at her properly, “Thank you Minerva, that truly means a lot to me. And you’re right, I am prepared. I shouldn’t worry about it.” Shoulders back with a new confidence, I pick my fork back up and continue eating.

A bang startles me as Severus comes through the teachers’ side door. Surprised that he’s actually at breakfast this morning, I look up at him with half-eaten eggs almost falling out of my mouth. He snarls at my opened mouth and sits down beside me without even a word of acknowledgement. I hurry to clean my breakfast off my face, _Merlin Hermione! Get yourself together, you’re not here to lollygag around._ I huff to myself internally, _yes, but this is also my new life, you can’t expect me to not actually live it._ I push the voices out of my head as I turn to greet the bane of my existence.

“Good morning, Severus. I trust you slept well?” I smile at him. “Hmm, as well as one can sleep in the cold, dreary, dungeons I suppose.”

“Uh, right. Well, do you look forward to the start of term?” I ask, changing the topic. He finally glances at me with a hard expression, “Yes, I oh so enjoy teaching a bunch of dunderheads how to make dangerous potions that could explode at any moment. It is the highlight of my life…” he drawls, lifting an eyebrow that could kill. “Yes, that does sound… lovely,” a nervous laugh escapes me, “Well, have you read any interesting books lately?” I try once again to make conversation. But this man is like talking to a brick wall, nothing in, and nothing out. “Would you detest your incessant chatter?” He half-shouts as he turns towards me, his narrowed eyes never leaving mine. It’s at times like this that I realize just how similar he is to his older self, and while I’d rather not admit it, it does frighten me at times.

His shout draws the attention of the other occupants in the room. I lift my chin as I glare right back, “I’ve had enough of your rudeness Severus, I’ve done nothing but try to be nice to you.” He leans towards me, “I never asked you to be nice!”

I give a loud huff as I push back my chair, hastily standing up. I look up to see many eyes staring back at me and as to not draw any more attention than we already have, I lean down to whisper. That way only he can hear, “Well I’m sorry that I so desperately wanted to be your friend Severus. You continued to push me away at every corner and I’ve had enough,” his eyes widen at my proximity. “I refuse to chase after you, but if you ever find that you need a friend Severus… I will always, _always,_ be here.”

Many emotions cross his face, but I found it too difficult to identify even one of them. I give him one last sad smile as I lean back. “If you will excuse me, I have work to do in preparation for the students’ arrival. I will see you all for lunch,” I announce to the rest of the Professors. With that, I turn around and walk out, not seeing the strange look come upon his face as he realizes that he may have just made a grave mistake.

I collapse onto my bed as the tears that I so desperately tried to hold back now come crashing down my face. _I can’t do this. I’ve made a mistake._ I curl into myself as I lay there and cry, seeking comfort in the only thing I have left, myself. _Harry and Ron aren’t here, my parents don’t even know who I am… I’m all alone. I have no one. I am no one._

Why did I do this? Why did I make myself come here when I knew I couldn’t go back? _Because of him, Hermione. You came to save him._ “Oh, shut up!” I sob to myself; _he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I’ve failed._

“Harry, I’m so sorry. You were right. I’ve failed,” I whispered to the empty room, in hopes that maybe he could hear my words. Know how sorry I am.

After crying so hard for so long, my eyes can no longer hold themselves open, and I drift off into a restless sleep.

_Knock, knock._

I open my eyes at the sound of someone knocking. _Merlin, I must look a sight._ I attempt to straighten out my hair and clothes as I raise out of my bed. Wondering who could be at my door, I hesitantly make my way towards it. Opening it just a few centimeters, I see a dark figure standing in the hall.

“Se-Severus?” I ask, opening it all the way, with my voice rough from sleep and all the crying that I did. “Hermione, I— Are you alright?” he looks at me from top to bottom as if assessing for any injuries. Confused as to why he would care I answer, “Yes, I’m fine. What do you need Severus?” I sniffle. His brows deepen in thought, “May I come in?”

“…Sure,” I step aside allowing him to walk past me and into the sitting room, hesitantly I ask, “Would you like some tea?”

“That would be…acceptable, yes.” I roll my eyes at his formality and I step into the kitchen to prepare the tea. I hear him follow me, stopping to stand just a few feet away from where I stood. “You know it would be much easier to make it with magic.” I turn around to look at him, “I prefer to do some things the muggle way, seeing as how I am muggle-born and did it my whole life that way before magic. It’s almost therapeutic,” I say as I go back to what I was doing.

“Ah, I see.”

After a few minutes I pour the tea into two cups and bring it to the sitting room with him following behind me. As we sit down, we sip on our tea for a few moments before I break the silence. “If you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing here Severus?” He looked so odd sitting on my couch, his dark imposing figure, with an air of confidence that many fail to ever achieve. He carries himself in a manner that oozes intelligence and magical capability, many of which are envious of. He isn’t what many people would call handsome, but it’s the little things that I find attractive about him. _Attractive Hermione? Snape, attractive? Are you mental?_

I push the thoughts away as I wait for him to answer, “I have come to, ah, apologize. My attitude to you these past few months have been nothing but abhorrent. We are colleagues and I should at least respect you as such, it would do no good for the students to see that their Professors did not get along.” He looked more uncomfortable than I have ever seen him, and while I wanted to giggle at the thought, I knew he wouldn’t appreciate it if I did so.

“Apology accepted,” his shoulders slumped slightly in relief, “And I agree, if those little prats get wind of animosity between any of us, they will seek to exploit it in any way possible.” I say with as much seriousness as I can. To my complete surprise he leans his head back and laughs. _Actually laughs._ I have never heard such a sound come from him before, and I honestly am frozen in shock at the noise.

To my utter horror, a snort comes out of my nose as I try to contain my amusement, and we both sit there laughing for several minutes.

After finally being able to contain ourselves, we sit there sipping our teas with small smiles on our faces. Several hours pass as we discuss theological topics, Potions, and Arithmancy, and finally a chime on the clock brings us back to reality as we realize it is lunch time. “Oh, my! Is it already lunch time?” He hums in acknowledgement as he stands to leave. “Come, we mustn’t be any later than we already are,” he holds his arm out for me. _What a gentleman._ I place my hand on his arm and we make our way to the great hall, talking the whole way there, not even stopping when we open the large wooden double doors. We trek all the way to the high table and are completely oblivious to the stares we were receiving from the others in the room. 

As we sit down and eat lunch, I have a few moments to reflect to myself. _Hmm, maybe this wasn’t a mistake after all._ I smile to myself as I finally start to feel like I belong in this time. Little did I know though, that this feeling of contentedness would not last very long, and soon my life here would get much more difficult.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so the last few chapters haven't been my favorite. I felt like they lacked detail, and that they didn't really 'flow'. So I hope you enjoy Chapter 5. I feel like it really kicks off the story, and may even be the best chapter so far. I hope you enjoy it! Let me know how you think it compares to the other chapters. Better? Worse? Much love, Hollie.

As I wait anxiously at the castle doors for the students to arrive, I glance around to see if I can spot any of the other Professors. It feels odd to be on the other side of things, normally I am the one bouncing on my toes in excitement for my arrival at Hogwarts. Excited over the prospect of learning, reading new books in the library, and spending time with Harry and Ron in the Gryffindor common room. But much has changed I’m afraid, I’m no longer a student, no longer a bright-eyed witch on the brink of self-discovery. Now I’m a war heroine. With scars, and a darker outlook on life. Yet still unable to rest, as I have one last mission to complete before I can live my life in peace. Another war is coming, my war. His war. I’ve sacrificed my peaceful post war life to give him one. One that he deserves, that I deserve. 

My stomach churns at the thought of the upcoming war that I will have to live through all over again, the bile makes its way up my throat at the thought of the weight of my responsibility. The people I could save, the events I could prevent, but I can’t mess up the timeline. I can’t risk a mistake occurring that would lead to Voldemort’s victory. 

I’m shaken out of my thoughts at the loud boom of Hagrid’s voice leading the students up to the castle. _Hagrid,_ I grin. While he doesn’t yet know who I am, or who I will be, I have already built a loving relationship with him as Professor Vector. He is like an older brother, or the crazy uncle, that I never had. I often go to his hut on the weekends for tea and brunch. To my displeasure though, his cooking has not improved since the last time Harry, Ron, and I ate with him. I laugh to myself at the thought, I remember so clearly the first day we all tried his cooking. I’d rather eat something out of one of Professor Snape’s mysterious jars than to eat another meal prepared by Hagrid. _And that’s saying something._

I put on a welcoming smile as the students make their way up to the large castle doors. “Welcome to Hogwarts. I am Professor Vector, please follow me as we make our way to the great hall for the welcoming feast.” Leading them through the castle, I hear their excitement as they talk amongst themselves, reminding me of my very own first day as a student. I remember being mesmerized by the castle, its walls giving off a mysterious yet comforting air that seemed to wrap you up in a protective bubble. 

We approach Minerva, and I pass the first years off to her as I continue making my way through the double doors. As the older students take their seats, I approach the high table, greeting the other Professors as I walk around to my seat next to Severus. “Well?” he drawls. I roll my eyes as I hand over a galleon. Irritated at losing a bet, “Just because someone causes trouble on the first day does not mean that they will be trouble the rest of the year,” I argue, yet not believing my own words. He smirks at me as he pockets the galleon, “Just admit defeat Hermione, I am older and wiser. I’ve been a teacher for a few years, I know what little prats they can be, _even_ on the first day.” 

I huff as I cross my arms, “Old you are, but wiser, I think not.” I smirk as he sends a glare in my direction. After the day I yelled at him at breakfast, our friendship has taken a turn for the better. We speak regularly at meals, and I even invited him to my rooms for tea yesterday as a last hurrah before term started. I think he finally realized that I wasn’t like everyone else. I don’t play games, I don’t care about the things other girls care about, and I can actually hold an intelligent conversation with him. 

It seems he has finally accepted that I truly want to be friends with him, but despite that, I still see the distrust in his eyes. The way he holds himself back, to keep from getting hurt. It saddens me to think that he has never had someone to truly care for him. I hope to show him that I won’t abandon him, and that nothing he can say would ever push me away. _Lily, you bitch._ It angers me that she could leave him over a silly word, a word nonetheless that he deeply apologized for using. _She was just waiting on him to do or say something so that she could kick him to the curb,_ I growl lightly at the thought. He, Harry, and everyone else may place her a pedestal, but I know no one is perfect. And while they liked to think so, neither was she.

Now that I know him a little better, I could never understand why someone _wouldn’t_ want to be friends with him. While yes, he can still be quite rude, I find it more amusing now rather than irritating. Prior to the war I would not have welcomed his type of humor, but the war changed me. I acknowledge that life isn’t always pleasant, much less _fair._ His sarcastic wit is a breath of fresh air, one that I have started to cling to as the days go by.

“Welcome, everyone,” Dumbledore says as he stands at the podium. He announces each and every first year as they get sorted into their respective houses. After which, he makes his normal welcoming feast speech that has both I and Severus rolling our eyes. I never did like how repetitive his speech was, _I mean come on, can’t you mix it up a little?_

“I would also like to welcome our new Arithmancy teacher, Professor Vector,” he applauds as I awkwardly stand and wave. I hear Severus snicker slightly and I jab him with my elbow when I sit back down. We get the ‘go ahead’ to start eating and I have to refrain myself from stuffing my face. I was too nervous to eat earlier and now my stomach is paying for it.

I sigh in exhaustion as I change into my nightclothes. Today was long, both from sitting around anxiously all day as I awaited the return of students, and then from having to search the castle for the first year that got lost. And to make it even worse, it was the same first year that caused trouble in the hallway earlier. _Darn Severus for being right._ I get rid of my dirty robes and go to the bathroom to freshen up before bed. After brushing my teeth, a habit I still held dear from my dentist parents, I yawn as I finally make my way to my bed.

“Nox,” I mutter as I turn off the light at the end of my wand. I settle into the covers, placing my wand underneath my pillow for easy access. My war habits still very much a part of me. A small smile graces my face as I close my eyes, sleep already taking its hold. 

_“Hello?” I ask, looking out into the empty darkness. No floor, no ceiling, no walls, just darkness surrounds me. I attempt to walk forward, but instead seem to float as I reach out my hands. I grab the darkness, expecting my hand to come back empty, instead I open my hand to see black grains. “Sand?” I wonder. While the blackness appears to be empty, it is actually made up of millions, or billions, of black sand particles. I start grabbing all around me, pulling back handfuls of black sand. My movements seem to stir the darkness around me until black sand starts to float everywhere. I smile at its eerie beauty. But my smile turns into a frown as more sand appears. It starts to become too much, too much sand. I can’t breathe. I start panicking, “Hello? Anyone? Help—” I choke on the sand, my hands coming up to my neck as I cough. “Help!” I wheeze, the black sand completely enclosing my body. Almost as if I were drowning in it. “Hel—” I attempt to call as the sand covers my mouth, my body convulsing from lack of oxygen._

My eyes pop open as I jerk myself up in bed. Still coughing, I bring my hands up to my neck as I gasp for breath. _It's just a dream. Just a dream._ I think to myself as I attempt to slow my erratic breathing. Tears threaten to fall from my eyes as I reach for my wand, “Lumos,” I rasp. A breathless cry escapes me as I look down to see a single black sand particle in my hand from where I coughed. The very black sand that almost suffocated me in my dream.


End file.
